Sunday, December 22, 2013
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Gift for Christmas
Maybe one gift people can give this season is to get OUT of the Fast Lane unless they're actually GOING fast.
Novel, no doubt, but thoughtful, to be sure.
Novel, no doubt, but thoughtful, to be sure.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Dog
If I had a dog and we were in a deep discussion today, I still think at the end of it all I would probably still say, "Quit whining."
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Monday, September 21, 2009
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Marie Says Laugh
I heard Marie Osmond said, "If you're going to be able to look back on something & laugh about it, you might as well laugh about it now," and she's rich, so . . .
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Friday, August 28, 2009
Style
I think "in style" is relative, but I think most of my relatives are not in style. I'm just sayin' . . .
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Boring
I think if Jonathan Livingston Seagull ever made a comeback, I'd be just as bored the second time.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Campus Stalker?
Monday, June 22, 2009
Why Not
When someone asks, "Why?" and the other person says, "Why not!" isn't that a copout?
They should just say, "I dunno & I'm LAME!" or "I can't think of anything intelligent & MAN you ask good one-word questions!"
Keep it real.
They should just say, "I dunno & I'm LAME!" or "I can't think of anything intelligent & MAN you ask good one-word questions!"
Keep it real.
Monday, June 15, 2009
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Short Work Week
If it's a short work week, like everyone's saying, why don't we just have short people work it?
Makes sense.
Makes sense.
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Airline Online
I wish when you reserve an airline seat online, the map would tell you about the people around you--that guy's a jerk, this one's mellow. A talker. Kinda nosey. Whoa, BO to the left.
Stuff like that would help a LOT.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Snort
So say you're laughing hard and you snort mid-laugh. How do you recover?
Not that I've done that, but I have a friend...
Thursday, May 14, 2009
TMI?
So if I say it's really hot, and a friend says, "Yeah, I'm sweatin' in six places," is that TMI?
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Curls
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Dumb Free Offer
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Punching Hot
Somtimes when I'm in a hot, crowded room and am sweating down both sides of my forehead and someone comes up to me and says, "Hey, you're sweating," I wanna say, "Uh, yeah, I KNOW that, Forrest." And then I wanna punch him.
Is that wrong?
Is that wrong?
Monday, April 27, 2009
Greatness
I love this quote I just read in Time:
I have always felt destined for greatness. So far, this has been a total bust.
I have always felt destined for greatness. So far, this has been a total bust.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Red & Green
Sometimes when my face fries into a bright red sunburn (like today), I think, "Well, my eyes are green, which complements red, so maybe God wants it that way."
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Walking Love Story
Walking from my office to CaliPizzaKitchen is the equivalent of one Taylor Swift rendition of Love Story--3 min. 55 sec. ExACTly.
What's your time?
What's your time?
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Cat Sit?
My family is trying to teach our cat to sit. I'm trying to teach our cat to run--run like the wind. (It's a big world. Explore.)
Monday, March 30, 2009
Friday, March 20, 2009
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Until Songs Stop
Sometimes I can't stop until the songs stop.
And with so many on the iPod, iPhone, etc., I fear I'm not going to be stopping for a long time.
And with so many on the iPod, iPhone, etc., I fear I'm not going to be stopping for a long time.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Friday, March 13, 2009
Apple inTune?
Why can't the iPhone make it so when you transfer a new song to it that you really want to hear (which is WHY you bought it), that song will play and play until you're sick of it?
Apple people, time is limited. Help us out here.
Apple people, time is limited. Help us out here.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Colors
I hate red pens that have black or blue ink.
If you're gonna be red, be red. Show your colors, man.
If you're gonna be red, be red. Show your colors, man.
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Radio Friend
Someone on the radio said he was bothered that he had such a hard time making friends, finding friends and keeping friends.
And I was thinking . . . "Maybe it's because you have a lisp."
And I was thinking . . . "Maybe it's because you have a lisp."
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Monday, February 16, 2009
Friday, February 6, 2009
Lunchtime My Time
Sometimes when I bring my lunch to work, I don't wanna wait 'til lunchtime. Food's there. It's ready. So am I, shoot.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Fending Off the Cat
It's not that I'm totally proud of this, but I had to put a Restraining Order on my cat. He can't get within 100 feet of me now. . . or else.
All things considered, it's fair.
Saturday, January 24, 2009
No Pants Policy Out of Control
Last summer, I came up with a No Pants Policy at work (not that risque; people just had to wear shorts but it sounded cool).
So my brother, who lives NOT in a warm climate, took a picture of himself tyring it in his home state.
Very funny man. And freezing his tail off, but still. Here's his blog.
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