Sunday, December 6, 2009

Gift for Christmas

Maybe one gift people can give this season is to get OUT of the Fast Lane unless they're actually GOING fast.

Novel, no doubt, but thoughtful, to be sure.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Vote Day

I voted.

Duly noted.

Sunday, October 18, 2009


If I had a dog and we were in a deep discussion today, I still think at the end of it all I would probably still say, "Quit whining."

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Pop It

Therapy is pricey. Popping bubble wrap is cheap.

Monday, September 21, 2009

Gone All Day

Ever feel like, "I could've gone ALL day without having to see that visual"?

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Marie Says Laugh

I heard Marie Osmond said, "If you're going to be able to look back on something & laugh about it, you might as well laugh about it now," and she's rich, so . . .

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Skinny Good?

Whenever I start getting skinny, my elbow hurts.

Friday, August 28, 2009


I think "in style" is relative, but I think most of my relatives are not in style. I'm just sayin' . . .

Thursday, August 27, 2009


I think if Jonathan Livingston Seagull ever made a comeback, I'd be just as bored the second time.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009


New Favorite Quote (which is really an old quote):

Be alert. The world needs more lerts.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Campus Stalker?

Is it just me or does this women look less like she's glad to be at college and more like someone's chasing her across campus?

Monday, June 22, 2009

Why Not

When someone asks, "Why?" and the other person says, "Why not!" isn't that a copout?

They should just say, "I dunno & I'm LAME!" or "I can't think of anything intelligent & MAN you ask good one-word questions!"

Keep it real.

Monday, June 15, 2009


Girls drop things.

It's irrefutable.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Short Work Week

If it's a short work week, like everyone's saying, why don't we just have short people work it?

Makes sense.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Airline Online

I wish when you reserve an airline seat online, the map would tell you about the people around you--that guy's a jerk, this one's mellow. A talker. Kinda nosey. Whoa, BO to the left.

Stuff like that would help a LOT.

Thursday, May 21, 2009


So say you're laughing hard and you snort mid-laugh. How do you recover?

Not that I've done that, but I have a friend...

Thursday, May 14, 2009


So if I say it's really hot, and a friend says, "Yeah, I'm sweatin' in six places," is that TMI?

Tuesday, May 12, 2009


Sometimes I like to tame my curls.
Sometimes I let them go wild.

That's how I roll.

That's how they roll.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Seat Belts

Seat belts can help even in the rain, my friend.

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Dumb Free Offer

Dumbest offer I've seen so far today:
Buy any 2 sets of guitar strings or 1 set of bass strings between May 1, 2009 and July 31, 2009 and get a FREE Elixir® Strings t-shirt! WOW.

You GOTTA Be KIDDIN' ME! A FREE t-shirt that says Elixir strings! CRAZY WILD Stuff!

Hey, how 'bout a free guitar?! Huh?

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Punching Hot

Somtimes when I'm in a hot, crowded room and am sweating down both sides of my forehead and someone comes up to me and says, "Hey, you're sweating," I wanna say, "Uh, yeah, I KNOW that, Forrest." And then I wanna punch him.

Is that wrong?

Monday, April 27, 2009


I love this quote I just read in Time:

I have always felt destined for greatness. So far, this has been a total bust.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Red & Green

Sometimes when my face fries into a bright red sunburn (like today), I think, "Well, my eyes are green, which complements red, so maybe God wants it that way."

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Walking Love Story

Walking from my office to CaliPizzaKitchen is the equivalent of one Taylor Swift rendition of Love Story--3 min. 55 sec. ExACTly.

What's your time?

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Cat Sit?

My family is trying to teach our cat to sit. I'm trying to teach our cat to run--run like the wind. (It's a big world. Explore.)

Monday, March 30, 2009

Weight Loss

I just developed a new weight loss program -- Brush Teeth at 7 p.m.

So far, so good.

Friday, March 20, 2009

Why a Pencil?

I don't really see the point in using a pencil.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Until Songs Stop

Sometimes I can't stop until the songs stop.

And with so many on the iPod, iPhone, etc., I fear I'm not going to be stopping for a long time.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009


I've just been invited to go to a Zumba class when I'm in New York in a few weeks. Should I?

Friday, March 13, 2009

Apple inTune?

Why can't the iPhone make it so when you transfer a new song to it that you really want to hear (which is WHY you bought it), that song will play and play until you're sick of it?

Apple people, time is limited. Help us out here.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009


I hate red pens that have black or blue ink.

If you're gonna be red, be red. Show your colors, man.

Saturday, March 7, 2009

Radio Friend

Someone on the radio said he was bothered that he had such a hard time making friends, finding friends and keeping friends.

And I was thinking . . . "Maybe it's because you have a lisp."

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Our Cat

It's official. Our cat's bipolar. I'm not kidding.

Monday, February 16, 2009

Saw People

Guess who I saw yesterday?

Everybody I looked at.

Big Snow

It snowed next door. Snow came down big.

Friday, February 6, 2009

Lunchtime My Time

Sometimes when I bring my lunch to work, I don't wanna wait 'til lunchtime. Food's there. It's ready. So am I, shoot.

Thursday, February 5, 2009


Next time someone says, "Two can play that game," say, "Two should."


Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Fending Off the Cat

It's not that I'm totally proud of this, but I had to put a Restraining Order on my cat. He can't get within 100 feet of me now. . . or else.

All things considered, it's fair.

Saturday, January 24, 2009

No Pants Policy Out of Control

Last summer, I came up with a No Pants Policy at work (not that risque; people just had to wear shorts but it sounded cool).

So my brother, who lives NOT in a warm climate, took a picture of himself tyring it in his home state.

Very funny man. And freezing his tail off, but still. Here's his blog.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Wisdom, Patience

May we all have the same wisdom and patience.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009


Smog makes me feel like I live in a big city again. Especially the night shots of the city. Cool.

Monday, January 19, 2009

It's a Fact

Sometimes . . . Women drivers . . . 

Friday, January 16, 2009

5 Minutes

When someone says it'll take just 5 minutes or do you have 5 minutes or I'll be back in 5 minutes, uh, it's never 5 minutes.


Monday, January 12, 2009

Sneeze Not

I've decided I hate sneezing.

What do you hate? (I know hate is a strong word, but, hey, it's an emotion and sometimes . . . )

Monday, January 5, 2009


I'm liking Ziplocs more and more.

Friday, January 2, 2009

Your Verse

The powerful play goes on
And you may contribute a verse.

The powerful play goes on
And you may contribute a verse.

What will your verse be?

- Dead Poets Society