Dog

If I had a dog and we were in a deep discussion today, I still think at the end of it all I would probably still say, "Quit whining."

Marie Says Laugh

I heard Marie Osmond said, "If you're going to be able to look back on something & laugh about it, you might as well laugh about it now," and she's rich, so . . .

Style

I think "in style" is relative, but I think most of my relatives are not in style. I'm just sayin' . . .

Boring

I think if Jonathan Livingston Seagull ever made a comeback, I'd be just as bored the second time.

Lert

New Favorite Quote (which is really an old quote):

Be alert. The world needs more lerts.

Why Not

When someone asks, "Why?" and the other person says, "Why not!" isn't that a copout?

They should just say, "I dunno & I'm LAME!" or "I can't think of anything intelligent & MAN you ask good one-word questions!"

Keep it real.

Girls

Girls drop things.

It's irrefutable.

Short Work Week

If it's a short work week, like everyone's saying, why don't we just have short people work it?

Makes sense.

Snort

So say you're laughing hard and you snort mid-laugh. How do you recover?

Not that I've done that, but I have a friend...

Curls

Sometimes I like to tame my curls.
Sometimes I let them go wild.
That's how I roll.
That's how they roll.

Dumb Free Offer

Dumbest offer I've seen so far today:
Buy any 2 sets of guitar strings or 1 set of bass strings between May 1, 2009 and July 31, 2009 and get a FREE Elixir® Strings t-shirt! WOW.

You GOTTA Be KIDDIN' ME! A FREE t-shirt that says Elixir strings! CRAZY WILD Stuff!

Hey, how 'bout a free guitar?! Huh?

Greatness

I love this quote I just read in Time:

I have always felt destined for greatness. So far, this has been a total bust.

Red & Green

Sometimes when my face fries into a bright red sunburn (like today), I think, "Well, my eyes are green, which complements red, so maybe God wants it that way."

Cat Sit?

My family is trying to teach our cat to sit. I'm trying to teach our cat to run--run like the wind. (It's a big world. Explore.)

Weight Loss

I just developed a new weight loss program -- Brush Teeth at 7 p.m.

So far, so good.

Zumba!

I've just been invited to go to a Zumba class when I'm in New York in a few weeks. Should I?

Apple inTune?

Why can't the iPhone make it so when you transfer a new song to it that you really want to hear (which is WHY you bought it), that song will play and play until you're sick of it?

Apple people, time is limited. Help us out here.

Radio Friend

Someone on the radio said he was bothered that he had such a hard time making friends, finding friends and keeping friends.

And I was thinking . . . "Maybe it's because you have a lisp."

Saw People

Guess who I saw yesterday?

Everybody I looked at.

Big Snow

It snowed next door. Snow came down big.