Sunday, April 27, 2008

Cell Off

Yesterday I accidentally left my cell home but didn't realize it for hours. When I found out, I panicked. Then I felt a freedom because that meant no phone. No emails. No texts.

I hoped I hadn't missed something urgent, but I instantly felt freedom from the cell attachment I have had nearly every minute of every day. Honestly, I hadn't felt that kind of freedom for years (like the first time you can drive without anybody else. Is that America at its best?).

How long could you go without your cell? Honestly?

Friday, April 25, 2008

Exploring Another Mystery

So it’s taken me a while to realize this, but when women wear hats, it seems like it’s more because they don’t want to wash/mess with their hair than it is a style thing.

I mean, THANKfully, hats are stylish, too. But I think I’m realizing it’s more a matter of Hair Hassle than style. Not saying it’s a bad thing, just, you know…

So what do you think? Style-driven? Hair Hassle? Wash hassle? Shampoo low? Love the grit? Back to nature? Combo?

And what other tricks do they have?

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

One Secret for Success

In the business world, I think it's always important to know where your trash can is, you know, without looking.

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Staying Happy

Zig Ziglar said something like, 90% of divorces would be eliminated if we delivered in the marriage what we sold in the courtship.

I believe him. What do you think?

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Bald-Headed Woman Playing Bolley Ball?

So I have this friend who told me she (or he, I'm not supposed to tell) up until two years ago, thought the word was "Bolley Ball" instead of Volleyball. She's 23. What?

Hey, ready to go to the bolley ball game? Let's all watch them play bolley ball!!

I have another friend who thought the Bee Gees were singing "Bald-headed Woman. Bald-headed woman to me-e-e" instead of "More than a woman."

Another friend thought Carly Simon was singing, "I had some dreams. They were grounds in my coffee, grounds in my coffee and You're So Vain." (1 min. 22 sec. mark)

People. We can do better. (You got any stories?)

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

It's Not a Plate

Can we just agree right now that the word is template, as in tem-plet and not tem-playt?

Once we’re all on board, can we agree to help those people who can’t seem to get it right because those same people know a LOT of words in their presentations, but when it comes to them saying TEM-PLAYT, I just erase everything they said ‘cause they’re messin’ with my mind and I’m not gonna take it anymore.

See my friend for more.

Friday, April 11, 2008

In Trouble

I believe in the afterlife and I KNOW at that point, I'm gonna catch heck for the way I've treated the cat that's been hanging around our home for 16 years. (I KNOW!) And I'm a little scared about facing him because I'm SURE he'll be able to talk by then, just like cats in Dr. Doolittle, and we'll be more on equal ground and he'll still have claws.

The other night, I think I had a nightmare about it (can't remember all of it...was asleep) but I recall a conversation that went:
Cat: Why were you always mean to me?
Me: Why did you always keep bonking into my leg?
Cat: It's just what I do.
Me: But I TOLD you for 16 years to stop DOing that, especially at the dinner table.
Cat: And you were always trying to get rid of me. What's your prob? Do tell.
Me: I was trying to set you free.
Cat: It was always snowing like 3 feet deep.
Me: I thought you liked the winter wonderland feel.
Cat: What I LIKED was not to freeze my, well, whiskers off.
Me: Why didn't you just SAY so?
Cat: I'm a cat, okay?
Me: That's my point. I would TELL you things and you would ignore them.
Cat: I heard you. Just didn't think they made much sense.
Me: Which was WHY I was trying to set you free.

I don't think I won that one, but at least I have 7 things to say to him, if he keeps to the script, which, you know, fat chance.

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Spending Money

I just read a news story that said a study finds, "Those who spend cash on others feel cheerier than those who simply spend money on themselves." Yeah, whatever.

Monday, April 7, 2008

I Froze

Someone asked today if I was a Ginger fan or a Mary Anne, and I froze. I didn't know what to say. I dashed back to the time when I was 11 or something and then blurted, "GINGER!"
But then he said, "Oh, I was a Mary Anne fan."

I felt shallow. What DO you say in times like that??

Sunday, April 6, 2008

Family Cat

So I’ve been living with the (family) cat for about 16 years, and I’ve only agreed to do it to show support to my family. But I don’t like it.

Why? I’m allergic to that cat. ALLERGIC. And my family keeps saying over and over it’s ALL in my head.

Yeah, I know. I know it’s in my head—until I sneeze it out. That’s my point.

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Thank You, Facebook

So my 19-year-old daughter's receptionist job is such that she sees a lot of people. And I just learned that this guy from another company on the same floor would often wave to her, then got brave and introduced himself, then gave his business card (still waving each time) and invited her to email or something.

So she found him on Facebook and learned he was 38. Then she saw he was married. Then she confronted him on being married. Then he -- (well, when she was telling me this, I interrupted and said, "I'll tell you what he said. I bet he perSUASIVELY tried to say, 'There's nothing wrong. We can still be friends,' blah, blah, so he can get closer to you because OBVIOUSLY that's the direction he's been moving in") -- (back to the story, he) said, "There's nothing wrong. You're not going to let THAT stop us from being friends, are you??"

Then I told her how creepy that was. And she admitted she felt weird about it, too. So I said, "When things feel creepy, you should Follow Your Gut, (and then I thought and SAID) Not His Butt." Whoa. I said it. Just like that!

Thoughts? (I mean, not about the Instant Rhyme, but the directness.)