Friday, October 31, 2008

Your Heart

I'm interested in talking to those who voted "Your heart" on the "Which is harder to open" poll.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Back of Your Head

Whenever professorial types pontificate (boring) with:

"I've had something no-o-o-odling in the back of my head,"

(like we should all be impressed), I think, "Are you sure it's the back and not the side, you know, where that bulge is?"

Sunday, October 26, 2008


You know when you're at an event and someone performs and the crowd applauds but usually the applause erupts because one brave soul starts the applause?

Yeah, that's usually me. It's like my only talent.

Friday, October 24, 2008


I submit that from here on out, bugs have identifiers, so we'll know where they came from and where the rest are hiding -- so we can just get it over with.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

You and I

Try saying this when you're stuck next time:

That's why you are you and I am I.

It works. Trust me.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Under the Bus

I can't help but laugh when I hear someone say, "Guess they threw you under the bus" because yeah, it's gruesome but really visual.

Monday, October 20, 2008

Unused Icons

When I get that computer message:

"There are unused icons on your desktop"

I wanna respond with:

"There are unused socks in your drawer!"

Is it BOTHERING THEM that I have unused icons? Like there's a shortage of screen space? I mean, I put it there for a reason AND they ALLOWED it.

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Use Me

Someone said:

Use me.
Abuse me.
But never lose me.

Which I thought was cute, except for that abuse part, but the cadence and rhyme...unbeatable.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Planet Dork??

I love this commercial. What's your favorite line?

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Let's Just Say

Sometimes when you're verbally trapped, maybe the best thing to say is,

"Look, for the sake of argument, let's just say I'm right"

and then just keep on talking.
Most people will follow.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Peace & Love from Ringo?

Ringo, Ringo, Ringo. If you don't want to sign things, just don't. You don't have to turn off the whole world.

Besides, who's STILL sending stuff to get autographs??

Monday, October 13, 2008

Getting Up

Sometimes when you're down, maybe the best thing to say is,

"Hey, I'm down. I'm really down."

And quit fighting it. Sometimes fighting being down can be really depressing.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Sneeze It

Why can't a sneeze just all come at once?

Why does it have to cut it into two or three?

Saturday, October 11, 2008


I just saw your picture and it made me think of you. Not for long, just for a moment, but still.

Friday, October 10, 2008

Knuckle Bug

Why does hearing others crack their knuckles bug?

What bugs you like that?

Wednesday, October 8, 2008


So let's just say if you're wondering out loud if you should take a shower or not, take it.

And if it's been awhile, shower with soap. Your choice of fragrance. Just shower, k? (And while you lather, bask in the joy that you're not at a campout anymore.)

Monday, October 6, 2008

Fast Lane

Few things in life are better than "Life in the Fast Lane" by the Eagles magically popping up on your radio, cranking it louder AND actually BEING in the fast lane, freeway-speaking, of course.

Saturday, October 4, 2008

It Is What It Is

I've learned that sometimes, the best response is to conclude: "It is what it is."

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Favorite TV

It's kinda sad when you're on the road and discover your favorite channel on TV is The Weather Channel.

But the maps in motion. Wow.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Taxi 2

Oops. Today, I shouted for a taxi.

But I didn't yell, "TAXI!" I was racing out of a building, needed to grab a cab, saw one that didn't see me and hollered, "YO!" And, yeah, he stopped.