Friday, May 30, 2008

British Cows...Rhythmic

True story: I'm riding this train from London to Liverpool today so I'm listening to Beatles music on my iPod (to get, you know, in the Beatles groove) and at the 1 min. 39 sec. mark on the song, "Girl," I look out the window and see a herd of cows and one of them is shaking his tail to the EXACT beat as the song, and I'm thinking, EVEN the COWS over here are like in sync. Unreal.

Saturday, May 24, 2008


My friend, Shawn, asked me a few weeks back if I was a fan of Sting, and I said, "Not a huge fan," but I want to take that back. For the record. Just in case.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

American Idol Lives

So today as I'm walking into a building on Sunset in Hollywood with one of my clients, two guys walk out of the elevator toward us, and I looked at one and thought, "He looks familiar--hey, that's David Cook," the new American Idol. So I reached out and shook hands and said, "Congratulations, David. We're really proud of you! Great job." And he said, "Thanks."

And then my client greeted him, and I asked him how much sleep he's gotten (because he just won American Idol less than 24 hours earlier). He said, "About 3 hours." So we talked for a bit in that small lobby while his guard/escort was talking with building security.

And I thought how cool it was that we just happened to enter that lobby at the exact time he stepped off the elevator. (Any time in the previous hours or days, we wouldn't have been able to get close to him, with thousands of fans at the Nokia Theater just the night before, and Paula, Randy and Simon and the myriad of TV cameras and parties and interviews and all.) And the two of us were just standing there talking to a tired David Cook, who was very polite and quite humbled by everything. In fact, along with the fatigue, he seemed like he was still in shock with all of the attention.

We wished him well as we said goodbye, with us forming words out of our mouths and him hearing those words and then responding with words of his own out of his mouth and then those words being heard by us from him to us both in the same language right there with words and handshakes and smiles going around like they do in those buildings in Hollywood. Kinda cool.

Met any celebrities lately? Do share.
PS - Seeing Yoko in New York doesn't count.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Carney's Hollywood Diner - Stay

So I'm at Carney's, a cool Hollywood diner, for lunch, and I order a hot dog with tons of sauerkraut ('cause, you know, why not?), and I feel like a total outsider because, well, it's my first time and others are waiting to order, and the man says, "Stay or to go?"
I say, "Stay."
He says, "Stay?"
"Stay!" thinking I needed to SHOUT it out and he starts to write "STAY" then stops, looks at me and says, "What's your NAME??" (With a tone like, "IDIOT, your name is STAY?? I SAID, what's your NAME?")

Man, I gotta turn that iPod down 'cause it's starting to affect me at lun--what?

Monday, May 19, 2008

Cool Trick

So I just learned that if you microwave ice cream for 25 seconds first, it's WORLDS easier to scoop out than bearing down on frozen ice cream with the scooper.

I've also learned 55 seconds is, uh, too long.

What cool tricks do YOU know?

Saturday, May 17, 2008

A Million

In a recent chat, a friend said, "I wouldn't have guessed that in a million years."

Um, YEAH you would. A million years! That's like a M-I-L-L-I-O-N years. Do you REALIZE how many things you would guess in a million years?

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Crazy Words

I don't really get when people say stuff like "physicality." Can't they just say "physical" and it's the same thing?

Or "functionality," which geeks use ALL the time. Show me a place where the word "function" won't work as well as "functionality."

The point is 1. Some people just like to SOUND, you know, bigger; and 2. I don't think most people have that much spare TIME to hear all those extra syllables. Right?

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

5 Secrets of the Drive

Driving the freeway daily has taught me a few things on how to get there sooner. 1. I turn on my lights (no flashing, just on). 2. I get in the fast lane. 3. I sit up straight. 4. I wear sunglasses. 5. I listen to good music loudly, you know, to get in the mood.

Doing those 5 things today was magic. SEVEN cars moved over so I could drive past. Of course, one car (BMW) pulled in front of me (scroll up & click on Things That Bug, read the BeemerTude entry and you’ll see how predictable that was). But getting 7 cars to move over is cool.

What are your freeway secrets?

Saturday, May 10, 2008

Some Things Look Dumb

You know when people are in awe of someone else and they bow and fan them with both hands stretched out? (Like the “I’m Not Wooooorthy” act.

It looks stupid.

No matter how many times I’ve seen people do it or how famous or how cute they are, it looks dumb. Don’t you think? (PS – I think those who do it know it, too. Else why would they look around with that cheesy smile?)

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Very French

Isn't the word, "froufrou" (you know, like frufru)?

'Cause I keep hearing people say fufu and fifi and mumu and mimi, and I'm thinking, if we're gonna try to be French, shouldn't we at least agree which French word it is? That way, we can all be froufrou together and sound cool--at least for a moment. What say?

Monday, May 5, 2008

Poster Power

In one of my regular restaurant dives in Times Square, they serve steak and as I was eating there recently, I noticed this HUGE poster titled “CHOKING.” And it had a person doing a serious Heimlich on the apparent choking person, and next to the chokee was a giant skeleton of a (dead) fish (they don’t even serve fish).

And this was hung so all the customers could see it, which really added to the ambiance. It was even framed. (Shouldn’t this be in the back room somewhere?) Is choking THAT big of a problem in this restaurant?

As I kept eating, I was drawn to the poster and started feeling strange things in my throat (no joke), and then I started coughing. But I kept breathing, but THEN I started hiccuping (never really written that word before). Then I knew I was in trouble because hiccups don’t go away easily, but I kept breathing and chewing and working my way through the steak and potato and drink and then got myself out of there.

In a way, you could say I choked that night. Either way, that was a close one. You ever choked?

Saturday, May 3, 2008

Stop at 4

So yesterday, I'm waiting for the train and strike up a conversation with someone who seems like he's a weathered 63-year-old with long curly hair (I like long hair, having lived through the 70s). And in no time, he's saying he has a good life because of 5 things:
1. I'm still breathing, he said as he tapped his chest (I'm thinking, "Uh, yeah, good thing.");
2. Have a roof over my head;
3. I've never been hungry. (Good to know);
4. I know who I am. (Never a bad thing, especially if you win some money and have to identify yourself); and, as he raised his hand, he concluded,
5. I can still wipe my butt.

WHOA. Hey, Buddy! Too Much Info!

Couldn't we have just STOPPED at #4?? I could've gone ALL week not hearing that. (But NOW the visual is forEVER seared in my brain. Dang!)

I smiled in disbelief, nodded, turned and left, you know, without shaking hands.

Thursday, May 1, 2008

Birds I've Heard

I like birds. I think they offer a nice dimension, flying around like they do. But WHY do they have to start chirping at 4:30 in the MORNING? I've been awakened by them as early as 3:37. Why, I ask?

I know the young ones want breakfast, but can't Mom & Dad just get the worms or bugs or granola bars or whatever and lay them on the branch the night before?

And once they've swallowed, can't they just smile and say, "Thank You." Or just whisper to each other through the whole ordeal? I mean, aren't they all in the SAME tree anyway?

I'm not asking for much. I just want my sleep.