I believe in the afterlife and I KNOW at that point, I'm gonna catch heck for the way I've treated the cat that's been hanging around our home for 16 years. (I KNOW!) And I'm a little scared about facing him because I'm SURE he'll be able to talk by then, just like cats in Dr. Doolittle, and we'll be more on equal ground and he'll still have claws.
The other night, I think I had a nightmare about it (can't remember all of it...was asleep) but I recall a conversation that went:
Cat: Why were you always mean to me?
Me: Why did you always keep bonking into my leg?
Cat: It's just what I do.
Me: But I TOLD you for 16 years to stop DOing that, especially at the dinner table.
Cat: And you were always trying to get rid of me. What's your prob? Do tell.
Me: I was trying to set you free.
Cat: It was always snowing like 3 feet deep.
Me: I thought you liked the winter wonderland feel.
Cat: What I LIKED was not to freeze my, well, whiskers off.
Me: Why didn't you just SAY so?
Cat: I'm a cat, okay?
Me: That's my point. I would TELL you things and you would ignore them.
Cat: I heard you. Just didn't think they made much sense.
Me: Which was WHY I was trying to set you free.
I don't think I won that one, but at least I have 7 things to say to him, if he keeps to the script, which, you know, fat chance.
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4 comments:
Oh, I'm laughing so hard. "Why were you always mean to me?" I can just picture this conversation between you two and how serious it sounds and it's crackin me up!
Ha ha ha ha. Wow. I think you should, um, do a little rehearsal or two before the actual event. I'll critique you. You won't regret it. TRUst me.
I'll have Richard be the cat's lawyer in this heated debate! Except... Richard doesn't like cats either. Hm... maybe I should go to law school, too!
You start off strong with "why do you always bonk into my leg?" Fair point. Nice play. Unfortunately, you lose all sincerity with, "I thought you liked the winter wonderland feel... in three feet of snow." Exit polls are showing: Cat 1, Tim 0. Good luck in the final match.
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