Someone once shared the concept of putting the spotlight on others when you talk with them. They said, "Imagine a spotlight swiveling on the ceiling between you and the person you're talking to. And you can have the light on you or on them.
"The key," they said, "is to keep the spotlight mainly on them, asking about them and being concerned with what's going on in their life."
[If you've ever had someone who seemingly reaches up and grabs the spotlight to keep putting it on THEM, you'll know the frustration with those conversations, which don't last long (unless you're into self-torture by self-absorbed friends)].
This isn't to say you can't ever share something about your life with the other person. It's just a nice reminder to focus less on self and more on others. Doing that often opens up worlds of interesting conversation and has even guided me to help others because it gets me outside of my own little world.
Have you had good experiences with this style?
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1 comment:
Love the concept! It's a great reflection on a person who naturally does that (like you). And it's true, it really is so interesting to learn about people. Endless discoveries. Thanks for the inspiring blog!
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