So I'm sitting with my friend, Wendy, in Phoenix over brunch and I open up to reveal my newly defined New Year's Resolution. I barely get it out when she SPEWS Diet Coke all over the table -- and my forearm. (Timing of revealing resolutions is an art, apparently.) And then she can't stop laughing.
So at the risk of being spewed and laughed at, I share with you my New Year's Resolution:
Take Fewer Napkins.
Before YOU spew, remember it's honorable AND achievable. And of ALL the resolutions you've heard over the years, don't you think this one is a resolution you could get behind? Bumper stickers, viral campaigns, copycat websites and all?
Fact is, I take far tooooo many napkins. For example, at McDonald's or Rumbi's or ANYwhere I get a chance to select the number of napkins for my VERY own, I first take the normal amount, consider those I'm eating with and then take more. I'm not PROUD of it, it's just that I'm comPELLED to do so. I mean, what if I'm eating and find I actually NEED more but they're WAY OVER THERE. It could be SD (a Social Disaster). I think having an ample supply stems from my inborn need to be there for ya. You know, "Whoa, got mustard on your--here, take THIS."
Sometimes when the restaurant TRIES to limit me, it's a challenge I have to conquer. Again, I'm not proud of it, but when I'm at places like Cafe Rio and they place JUST the right amount of napkins (research findings) in such a way as to discourage customers from taking more, well, I . . . SCORE! Such a rush.
But when I take more and then realize friends aren't as messy as I thought, and we make it through without spilling drinks, well, too late 'cause the restaurant doesn't want them back, so we throw extras away. BUT if I were to -- if we ALL were to -- take fewer napkins, think of how the whole Nobel prize could go to us for stopping Global Warming. Kinda. So that's my goal.
Next year's resolution: Help Wendy time her spews. (I may need help.)
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5 comments:
I didn't spew because using less napkins isn't a noble cause. I waslaughing because most people have more troublesome vices to give up. Ithought it was funny that you are so pure that the only bad thing you dois use too many napkins. And by the way, it was iced tea.
I'm with Wendy on this. I would have spewed, too, but aimed for more than your forearm.
This concerns me because I just realized BOTH Wendy AND Levi E, although they've never met, are from Arizona, where SPEWING is LEGAL. So if you ARE lucky enough to get on Route 66 through that fine state, KEEP DRIVING. The Spewers may be out.
did you know that 49% of americans said they are going to try to be "more green" this year? ;)
But how are they when it comes to the BIG stuff? You know, the NAPKINS? That's the true mark.
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